Lesson 2 Practicum; Subway Safehouse

Because cell phones have so pervaded our everyday lives, it's difficult to adhere to proper etiquette without offending someone who may be calling or irritating those nearby. We have been wooled over by the giant orange swaths of AT&T, obliterated by the Verizon army lead by that alarming geek in glasses. They would have us believe that phone calls are appropriate wherever and whenever our minutes allow. Society at large has become confused--we are crossing our signals, both metaphorically and literally. Lesson 2 teaches that there is a time and place for desirable cell phone usage. 


Any cosmopolitan city worth visiting features above-the-ground trains that seem ideal for chatting on the phone. Ideal, that is, unless you are riding next to the person talking. In short, using the phone on a subway is abominable behavior that must be eradicated. Under no circumstance should a gentleman make a call or answer his phone while seated on a train. However, one may use his phone on a subway platform if he is 5-7 meters from the nearest person. Should the train arrive before the conversation finishes, the following exercise will be helpful in remedying the situation. 


Gentleman:  Oh yes, the MOMA exhibit was most thrilling! I wasn't sure whether the nude performers were meant to be titillating or frightening. The ambiguity was genius.

Caller:  MOMA is certainly on my must list this season.

Gentleman:  Oh, I believe the train is coming.

Caller:  But you haven't told me about your weekend in Capri.

Gentleman:  I should so love to tell you all about it, but out of courtesy to the people standing approximately 5-7 meters from here, I simply cannot.

Caller:  But we haven't talked since the Belmont Stakes.

Gentleman:  Goodbye.


Common courtesy becomes effortless with a little practice! Creating a Subway Safehouse, a cell-free train, is most commendable and refreshing. Private matters stay private and public trains stay quiet.

The devil man at left can barely contain the stupidity behind the smile. He may dress sharp, but his manners (and no doubt his wit) are utterly dull. Those around him are certainly not smiling at his despicably oblivious behavior. The man below, however, is a sterling example, perfectly maximizing every cell phone minute in the solitude of his well-appointed home. Who wouldn't be pleased to receive a call from the undoubtedly potent signal emanating from his powerful instrument?
 


Once this exercise is mastered, you may explore a second practicum entitled 'Streetside Sanctuary.'




Yours in Brotherhood,
Oscar Percy